Christmasphere 2021

Christmasphere Day 2| Guest post by Rish- Challenging Santa’s Powers with Reality.

Hello everyone! Today’s post is by Rishabh and he’s going to debunk Santa powers. To be honest, I enjoyed this post a LOT.

I won’t bother much with an intro. Just scroll along and read his post.

Do I really have to do a greeting?

Aight. I suppose I do.

Hello fellow organisms!

MeRrY ChRiStMaS Y’aLl

Welcome to Christmasphereeeee! I’m Rish, and I’ll be doing a guest post here!

I accidentally wrote “Christmaspereeeee” there. The autocorrect suggested “Christmas Peeeeeeee”

That’s kinda funny.

Sorry my sense of humor is very weird.

Forgive me.

Back to the post.

SO.

It’s the Christmas month. Santa and his elves of course must be busy in their factory in the North pole, for the big day – Christmas Eve. 

It’s on this day that Santa himself goes around the world, at night time, where he assumes everyone is asleep. 

Of course some people don’t believe that Santa himself can go and distribute gifts to 7.9 billion people in one night. 

But he, has ✨Powers✨

If you excuse me, imma research on what those powers are.

*Searches and browses the long and wide internet for around 20 minutes.*

Aight I’m back.

Today, we are going to be referring to Marvel’s Santa Claus of Earth-616.

Yes Marvel has a Santa. 

I’m not talking about mall Santa.

I’m talking about an actual Santa.

Who looks cool af.

I  mean look at that crazy expression on his face. And Deadpool is trying to assassinate him. 

Only cool people get that opportunity.

So to prove my point,

Cool Comic Characters = Crazy expressions + Deadpool assasination attempt = Santa Claus

Also Thor is very cool.

Ok.

So I’ve summarised a few powers – 

  1.  Fitting into any chimney and smoothly sliding down.
  2.  Fire Immunity
  3.  Levitation
  4.  Altering appearance of himself and objects.
  5.  Generate Snow

Let’s do this – Let’s challenge the myth.

  1. Fitting into any chimney and smoothly sliding down

That’s against the laws of biology.

You can’t alter the amount of fat in your body according to tightness and area unless you wear a fat-suit which can be taken off and also Santa’s like super thin.

But again, this would be very inconvenient, because you can strip off and wear it again  7.9 billion times. That’s hard.

TAKE THAT SANTA POWER, YOU’VE JUST BEEN BUSTED.

  1. Fire Immunity

Sorry to say guys, that’s possible. In an unrealistic way.

How?

Plastic Surgery.

From head to toe.

With silicon.

A plastic surgery with silicon would look fine, and it’s fairly fire-proofed. But every time you come in contact with a fire, you’d be getting a tan. A charcoal black tan.

That don’t look like a tan at all, forget a charcoal black tan.

YEAH POWER, BUSTED AGAIN WOOOHOOOOO!

  1. Levitation

Wait, I actually need to explain this one?

Yes.

Ok.

Hello and welcome to the physics-less universe!

THERE’S NO GRAVITY, ISN’T IT?

Sigh.

I’m telling you, Santa has defied the law of gravity.

Unless, he has…

An Iron Man suit. 

The Hulkbuster looks rather good on him, doesn’t it?

I dunno.

But then we can apply myth 1, which means he’d need to go in the chimney.

BUSTED.

  1. Altering appearance of objects and himself

How can I bust this?

Let’s see.

Aight got it.

It’s against biology + physics.

It’s either Santa and/or the objects get plastic surgeries through machines commanded by the mind that is all done in 0.1 milliseconds.

Wait.

The solution ain’t possible either.

BUSTED AGAIN.

  1.  Generating Snow (this is out of thin air, fyi.)

So, the only definition for this is that he does deposition of water vapour to ice in 0.1 milliseconds.

Nah.

Chemistry doesn’t allow that.

I think that’s busted, because there’s no possible solution.

BUSTED WHOOOOP!

Yeahhh that’s it!

I hope you liked this post. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

Signing off,

Rish

P.S.: There’s also a possibility Santa’s a demigod (son of Aphrodite), blessed by/is a legacy of Zeus and Boreas.

P.S.2: Legacy’s are descendants of demigods, i.e., his dad could be a son of Boreas and his grandmother a daughter of Zeus.

So that was it for the second post of Christmasphere. It was very fun to have Rish over and make us all laugh. The humor in this post is EPIC. Did you enjoy it? Talk to me in the comments below!

23 thoughts on “Christmasphere Day 2| Guest post by Rish- Challenging Santa’s Powers with Reality.

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