Scarlet Letters! | A letter to Voldemort

Hello bloggers and the world beyond!

A few weeks ago, I had a little idea. I asked you all to leave me recommendations for fictional characters to write letters to. If you forgot to leave in your recs, go right here.

So I was going through the recommendations and I LOVE how this is just another way to increase my tbr.🙂. So, I saw some common answers, and then some REALLY interesting ones.

So today, I’ll write a letter to our one and only, avada kedarva man!!

Dear Voldemort,

Hello there, The Dark Lord (or should I say Tom for short?).

I can’t help but notice that you’re a real dumbo. It’s a bit pathetic actually, how you claim to be such a big wizard and immortal and powerful and stuff when you don’t even have a nose.

And man, are you for real? You’ve like, tried to kill Harry for what, like 800000 times. DAMN, you couldn’t even beat a BABY. So much for being the powerful wizard of your time. I mean, you could’ve killed someone else, just to prove that no, you’re not scared of a CHILD. Like dude, really, there’s no point chasing a butterfly when you have a pigeon right next to you.

Also, I think your lack of intelligence comes from company. The people you keep around are such imbeciles. Did you really send a bunch of adults to defeat a bunch of kids for ONE horoscope. I mean seriously. Why don’t you ever do anything yourself. You’re like a great old grandad with minions running all around doing your work. ‘Hey Lucius iron my robe please’ ‘Bella did you finish eating the green pie’. ‘Oh god Peter, you absolutely discoloured my black pants, they’re PINK now.’

Also talking about clothes, why do you even walk around wearing a freaking nightdress. Dude it’s not cool. Really.

The internet is full of memes about you, you know? You’re not a great wizard. Instead you’re a foolish one.

And for the lord’s sake, do something about your freaking nose. Do you need the number of a plastic surgeon? I have several of our muggle surgeons, who are supper skilled and do something productive other than sitting there and trying to come up with ways to kill a BABY.

You want to be evil?

Really?

Why not make a committee that takes stupid mcq boards for the first time in november. 🙂

Please man, grow up. Quit your obsession with diaries, Harry and cloaks. It’s not cool anymore.

I’m signing off now, because really, I don’t have abundance of time. Unlike a certain someone who has minions to do everything.

Yours Hufflepuffly,

Sep

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